Dec 4, 2009

good bye to some kind of friendship

It has been happening for a while now. There were a number of occasions when I found myself questioning why I end up being friends with a certain type of people. This pseudo-friend of mine at work is generally a happy person but her ideals and outlook in life are way different from mine. That saying "tell me who your friends are, and I'll tell you who are" doesn't apply to me at all when I am with her.

I was asking myself why I even became friends with her last night when it dawned on me that I also have/had a friend who had almost the same personality as hers. I went through years of friendship with that old friend--from acquaintances to someone who I allowed to camp on my bed--and then one day I decided that I no longer want to be invested in that friendship.

So, yesterday I reached that point again and I was sad. I really was. She filled my thoughts yesterday. It's not like I'm not gonna talk to her anymore but that going forward I really don't care anymore. You can call it shutting down. In my opinion, she's a closeted racist, feels entitled just because, and does not get humbled by the current struggles in her life. She blames her environment for some of her issues instead of taking personal responsibility. It just wears me out. Like the old friend, I tried to get her out of what she called "misery" and "depression", but I realized that some people like being miserable and unconsciously attract misery because I don't think they know what it's like without it. I just can't be bothered with that. So, good bye and good riddance.

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