I want money, a lot of it.

Last night I was getting really annoyed at our financial situation. I really want to get rid of our plastic debt! Compared to others who struggle with a lot of it, ours isn't so bad but still!

Today is pay day and I tend to "close the books" fortnightly (every other Wednesday). I got to review how much we had spent unplanned in the last 2 weeks. My word, including our weekend trip to Ruapehu, we used the plastic for $1,000+! WTF.

Trying to be good about not incurring more debt, I paid for the unplanned spends using our savings. It didn't take more than 10 minutes before I started feeling bad about paying debt. I checked the projected savings by December and it's $2K lower than forecasted a few months ago. I was just disappointed and disheartened.

I told J that I had started regretting getting the big car because compared to the small one, it costs more on petrol. I just got so used with the small car's petrol usage that the big car's usage is just so alarming to me. However, the small car isn't really adequate for us anymore.

I decided to move my butt to focus my mind on something else, but folding clothes isn't exactly mind-juggling so I ended with more frown on my face than when I started. I told J that it isn't acceptable that we are using savings to pay debt because we earn a good deal between us. We are in much better condition than those with more than 1 child and mortgage and more expenses, that's why I just have high standards for us to live better.

We are not living horribly beyond our means. In fact, we do slip from time to time but we're okay. I don't want to struggle for money. I don't want to ever live from paycheck to paycheck. I just don't want to be poor. I don't know how it is to be poor that's why I'm scared of it. I want a lot of money because I want to live comfortably knowing my future is set. I want a lot of money so that I can do anything on a whim without worrying about where to get the cash from. I want to get rid of our debt so that I can start channeling all that money towards buying a house.